Have you ever had that kind of friend? The one where when you’re together, you become so engrossed in conversation that it’s inevitable at some point both of you will realize that you have no idea where you are, how you got there or where you parked your car?
Welcome to my life with my Favorite Man Friend.
My FMF is a former classmate. We have been entertaining each other and sharing advice on work and life for years, in fact, he’s the first person I turn to for suggestion on coping with and understanding the surprises of single life.
A recent conversation of ours commenced as follows:
Me: “Dating advice? Since I will be on the market soon…”
FMF: “Putting the cart before the horse aren’t we?”
Me: “Not really, but it is kind of funny. So this is my question today…Since I will be on the market soon, do you think it is too forward to say ‘I am an MBA looking for a long term commitment in a short period of time, so we can get married and have lots of sex and babies?’”
FMF: “No, actually sounds good when you put it that way. You are a master wordsmith.”
Me: “I have a feeling something like that may come out if I am out and about and have a little too much to drink.”
FMF: “Eh, if it happens it happens. So let’s review, you are intelligent, motivated, have a good career, are active and fun (i.e. have been known to party).”
Me: “I love the i.e., but can we add the word “allegedly?”
FMF: “No. But if you add the promise of ‘lots of sex’ you will have just hooked 99.5% of single, sane, and quality men.”
Me: “Thanks. Hopefully they will also be good looking?”
FMF: “Of course. That was obviously implied. But, if I were you, I’d be more concerned with finding someone who could stimulate my mind. Any idiot, well most idiots, can stimulate a body…”
Me: “You just wrote that…on purpose!?!”
FMF: “I am just saying…you’ll definitely have your share of options.”
Me: “Thanks. I hope these ‘options’ are easy to find. But hey, if that doesn’t work…is it okay to just tell people I am a flight attendant?”
