My Favorite Man Friend is the first person I turn to for suggestions on coping with and understanding the surprises of single life. A former classmate who was never one to mince words, my FMF is like my man version of Dear Abby (my Mabby for short).
A recent conversation of ours commenced as follows:
Me: “Went skiing this weekend with a great guy. About an hour and a half into the drive he says, ‘it is really nice to be able to have such an intelligent conversation with someone.’ What does that even mean? How does one have an unintelligent conversation?”
FMF: “You know what it means. I’ve seen you struggle to pull nuggets out of those less fortunate.”
Me: “Damn.”
FMF: “Tell me you’ve NEVER dated someone that when they asked your opinion you wouldn’t just give a 3rd grade response to move the conversation along because you knew that they wouldn’t understand or be secure enough to hear what you really thought?”
Me: “You are right. Even worse, sometimes it takes a while to realize that people aren’t as smart as I think, especially if they follow the better-to-keep-your-mouth-shut-and-be-thought-a-fool-than-to-open-it-and-remove-all-doubt philosophy.”
FMF: “Clever idiots…the worst kind.”
Me: “I often think they are the strong silent type.”
FMF: “Add charisma and poof… woman’s worst nightmare.”
Me: “I once dated a guy for 6 months before I realized he was a total idiot, which in turn makes me the bigger idiot. Add charisma and make them fun and outgoing and good looking and I am done. If only my intelli-radar was as good as my gay-dar.”
FMF: “Don’t be too hard on yourself; most intelligent women are suckers for the eye candy. Take solace that you are not alone.”
Me: “According to my sister one of my biggest weaknesses is that I fall in love with people for who they can be, not for who they are. So based on this conversation have two things to learn: 1. how to accurately assess intelligence 2. How to differentiate between what is and what could be.”
FMF: “As far as #1, I think that giving everyone the benefit of the doubt is admirable. In regard to #2, I think your sister knows you possibly better than anyone else on earth. You should listen, but remember diamonds come from coal. Not to say that most of the times coal is just coal.”
