Stealing a slow down sign at 1 am on the way home from the bar seemed like a good idea. Sending photos of said sign to almost everyone in my contact list at 1:30 am seemed like an even better idea.

I considered the multiple responses I woke up to the next morning as evidence that I was right. Who doesn’t love a photo of a stolen slow down sign? Answer: my mother.

Oops.

(To be fair I did return the sign to its original location later the next day.)

As it turns out my single sense of humor and judgment is a little warped. Over the course of the past few months, in practicing being single, I have had to push the boundaries of my comfort zone to meet new people and try new things. I think (or know) that I may have (allegedly) uncovered and opened my own little Pandora’s Box.

Waking up next to this stolen sign, my thoughts were similar to someone who just realized they had a drunken one night stand. Who are you and what have I done?

At least it was just a sign.

Mental note: I am naughty. Check.

True, this is not new news, but as I travel down this path of single self discovery trouble-making wasn’t something I was expecting to bump into so quickly. For most of the last decade I spent the majority of my time and energy caring for my now ex. We weren’t exactly the boring couple, loving to go out and have fun with friends, but, as I am finding out now, going out as a we is very different than as a me.

Apparently I tempered and channeled my energies differently when coupled.

Wherein I used to be someone who would think about doing something, “I would really like to steal that sign.” I was actually doing it, “Pull over! I am stealing that sign!” It was as if I was no longer following the pace car. My governor had been removed and I was testing out how well I could bank the curves that inevitably were coming my way.

And with that I confiscated the sign that challenged my new life.

Was it to get it off the street? To free others from the demand to follow the rules? Or just an example of intoxication giving way to temptation?

I don’t know if it matters. But, slow down? Now?

Not a chance.